


You are not alone

by Kat92



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7114600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat92/pseuds/Kat92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She doesn't always go looking for him. Not this time either, but she finds him anyway. And what she finds is not what she was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are not alone

She doesn’t do it on purpose, well, she does sometimes, but this is not one of those times. Sometimes she does go looking for trouble, in the hope of The Doctor turning up to help. But she’s been doing this for too long and 9 out of 10 times, he doesn’t show at all. Unlike The Doctor though, sometimes River just escapes trouble, without solving it, because she runs faster than the people chasing her.

 

Like now, running down an alley in 31st century New York, guns blazing. She might have gotten on the bad side of a group of gangsters (yes, there will always be gangsters in New York). But that’s not the important thing. The important thing is, that when she turned a corner, she collided with a wooden surface. There wasn’t much time to recover from the shock, but she didn’t need it, all it took was one look and River knew what she had run into.

 

The sound of running feet was still approaching, so River hurried up and fished out her key from her leather pants and unlocked the door, hurried inside and let it slam shut behind her. Leaned up against the door, River looked at the desktop. She had seen it before, of course, but her heart still sank a bit as she knew he wouldn’t know her. She always knew him, but he hardly ever recognized her. Still, she put one her brave face, River had seen much worse than this, this was nothing.

 

“Hello Sweetie, I trust you won’t mind giving me a lift?” River smiled as she stepped up to the console and helped herself, moving levers and pressing buttons, but not taking off, not yet.

 

“Who are you?” The Doctor said, sounding insulted. River turned to face him, smiling as she saw the big ears and not the porcupine hair. She had already figured out that it wouldn’t be a husband who remembered her, when she saw both the outside of the TARDIS and the current desktop. This was post-time war, but pre-her Doctor. Maybe even pre-Rose. She studied his face for a moment, effected by the pain in his eyes, that was visible, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

 

“I’m a friend” River held up her key as proof. He didn’t give them out to anyone, not now and not then. “From your future”

 

“How do you know me then?”

 

“Well, not many others have a TARDIS disguised as a police box. And I have met this face before”

 

He looked confused for a moment, until she pulled her Mnemosine recall-wipe vapour out of her pocket. “Ah” he said, eyes on her face. “Well, since you’re gonna wipe my mind, you might as well answer my questions – Who are you?”

 

River sighed, this was the bit that got boring after doing it a few times. This was the third time she had to explain herself to this face alone. “Your wife”

 

He looked like he considered that for a moment, before he said “Why should I believe you?”

 

“Because I know. I know what you’ve been through, I know what you’ve lost.. I know about the time war” He avoided her eyes as she stepped closer. “It’s recent for you, I know that too”

 

“That doesn’t mean I can trust you – You could be here to kill me” River smirked a bit, he had no idea how ironic him saying that was.

 

“Maybe this will make you trust me” She walked right up to him and stood on her toes, so she could whisper his name in his ear. The one thing, she knew would make him trust her, despite the fact that he didn’t know her at all. When she stood back down, with her hands on his shoulders, he looked at her with shock written all over his face. River cupped his face with her hands “I am so sorry, Doctor” She spoke softly, looking into his blue eyes.

 

Normally when she met him, there wasn’t much time for explanations, but now there was. The people who had been chasing her, were shooting and hammering at the door, they weren’t a threat and right now River hardly noticed them. When she moved up to put her arms around his neck, to hug him, she was surprised to find that he in turn put his around her and held on tightly. “They’re all dead” He whispered and lowered his head, pressing his forehead against her shoulder. Now, hugging him, for River was odd enough, but to have him holding on to her with such a need, was even more odd.

 

The husband she knew, had never done this. He had been sad, the pain had been obvious in his eyes, but he had never sought out support so willingly. The Time war would have to be very close in his timeline, for him to do this. This was definitely before he met Rose. It made River tear up, to know that maybe the reason he hadn’t done this to her before, was because he already had. That she had been there to hold him, when he had needed it the most. River knew that there was nothing she could say, that would make things better. So she just held him, tightly, cupping the back of his head with a hand, right until he started pulling away.

 

“They’re not all gone. The Master is still around, causing trouble. You’ll run into him soon enough, he’ll keep you on your toes” For him it would still be a while and a regeneration, but she couldn’t let him sulk for any longer. And it seemed to work, because he looked at her, still not leaning away completely from the embrace, with a look of surprise on his face, much better than the shocked look he had had before. “Really?” River nodded, “You’ll see him again” Of course he wouldn’t remember any of this, once she left him. But she enjoyed seeing the smile on his face for as long as it lasted.

 

“You’re not alone, Doctor. I might wipe your mind, but I hope you’ll know it anyway.”

 

“How can I not be alone, if it’s just me.. and The Master”

 

“Well..” River gave a light shrug and smiled at him “I’m around and so are your other companions to come”

 

“So you’re a companion?”

 

“Spoilers” He rolled his eyes at her. “It’s complicated” River said, surprised by how easily he accepted the idea of her, and kept his arms around her, while hers remained around his neck, like they had known each other for years and not 5 minutes. She worried whether or not her vapour’s effect was starting to slip. Maybe he did remember.

 

“Ah.. sorry about that”

 

River smiled, shaking her head, “Not exactly your fault, is it? .. not yet”

 

“Maybe not. But it will be, I assume”

 

River shrugged again “Partly.. Partly you, partly me, partly the nature of timetravel” He nodded at that, understanding.

 

“I take it, you’re used to timetravel then?”

 

River nodded “Very”

 

“Then why do you need a lift?” He asked, brow furrowed in faked wonder.

 

She lifted her wrist from his shoulder, to show off her vortex manipulator, “It’s on the blink”

 

The Doctor looked at her, with the same type of look he often gave her regarding her ‘time hopper’. He did not think of that as a proper way to travel.

 

“I know what you’re gonna say. But not all of us can fly around in a TARDIS”

 

He smiled a bit, seeming to give in to the idea of her being his wife. “Give it here” The Doctor took a step back, finally breaking the embrace, as he took a hold of her wrist and fished out his screwdriver.

 

River didn’t back away though, she stayed close, watching him as he worked. It didn’t take him long, a few seconds of fiddling around and he looked up at her. “All better”

 

“Thank you – I have to get myself one of those”

 

“Maybe some day” He smiled, letting their hands fall.

 

“Maybe” She hoped so. It could definitely come in handy. Her train of thought stopped, as he didn’t let go of her hand, but instead took it in his, intertwining their fingers.

 

“So where are you off to?” he asked softly, eyes on hers.

 

The surprise was obvious on her face, as her eyes searched his face. “Anywhere, just away from here.”

 

He looked up from her for a second, glancing at the door, where there was still quite a racket, coming from the entrance. “Causing trouble?”

 

“Me? Never” River grinned.

 

“I see why I like you” he grinned in return. “You’ll be keeping me on my toes too, won’t you?”

 

“I do my best” She gave him a look up and down, sending him one of those flirtatious smiles, that usually made her Doctor blush. But this one just grinned at her, taking a step closer. It really was too bad, that he wouldn’t remember this, once she left. River could have a hundred first meetings with him and he’d never remember having met her at all. It was just how it was, but that didn’t stop it from hurting. The only place she felt like she belonged, was with her parents and with him. But their time was limited, to moments like this, first meetings and the rare times she saw the husband that did remember her.

 

But this time was not like the other times that she had seen him. Because he was looking at her, like he was trying to understand, trying to grasp the meaning of it all. Or maybe he was just desperate enough for a connection to the future, that he willingly accepted her as his wife, with all that that brought. And he was looking closer than any of his predecessors. He must have seen something they didn’t, as he reached up and cupped her face with his big palm. “What is your name?”

 

“River, River song” She said, before he tilted up her face and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. It took her a moment, before she leaned into it and kissed him right back. Slipping her hand up around his neck, she held him close as he kissed and turned them, so he could back her up against the console. Well, this was certainly different, the confidence, when it came to this kind of thing. He deepened the kiss, moving his lips against hers in a way that she was sure that her Doctor had done too, but right now she couldn’t say when it had been, she was too preoccupied. His hands wandered a bit, one went into her curls, he always did like those, and the other went down, cupping her ass, as he pressed her against the console. The Doctor held her tight. The first embrace had been for him, but this was obviously for her.

 

When they parted, River was flushed and breathless, he was much the same, as he stayed close, looking down at her. His eyes stayed on his, as if he understood, as if he somehow knew what they were and what he meant to her and visa versa. “Well then, River Song.. You better get to it.” She swallowed, as she composed herself, then nodded. She really should get going, as much as she didn’t want to. Pressing another short kiss to his lips, she met his eyes and caressed his cheek. “One last thing”

 

“What’s that then?”

 

“Your next destination”

 

He cocked an eyebrow in her direction.

 

“London, you need to go to London. Your next companion is waiting and you need her” He sighed and she knew he was about to protest. “You need her. Don’t argue with your wife” River kissed him once again, lingering a bit, before she backed away from him. She headed for the controls, setting them to Earth, London, 2005. The TARDIS would find the right point in time, there were people to rescue and a companion to be found. “She’ll do you good, she will help you” River put in the last coordinates and landed the ship at her desired destination. “Go find her”

 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

 

She pulled out the Mnemosine recall-wipe vapour, holding it in the palm of her hand, looking at it.

 

“We both know I have to forget.. Spoilers” He smiled at her, although she could see the sadness behind his eyes. It was cruel, giving him hope and then take it away. All River could do was hope that somehow some of it stuck with him. Not the information, but the hope. That he would somehow know that there was hope, when things looked the darkest, even if he didn’t know why he knew it. That was all she could do to help him, try and guide him towards the good things and give him hope.

 

River gestured towards the seats and lead the way, waiting until he sat down next to her. Lost for words, River just looked at him, she hadn’t expected him to kiss her, or for him to look at her like he did, like he remembered, or like he pretended to remember. It almost hurt more than when he didn’t remember, because she knew, she had to end it. “It’s alright” he said, meeting her eyes and pulling one of her curls, watching as it bounced back into place after he let go of it. “We’ll meet again”

 

“Where I get a snog like that? .. Unlikely” He grinned at that. “You’ve never kissed me.. none of you have. You’re the first.. in your timeline”

 

“I’m honoured”

 

River rolled her eyes. “You should be” She smiled but it soon faded and they fell quiet. “Don’t be alone, Doctor” He looked at her for a moment, then nodded, suddenly serious.

 

Leaning in, she kissed him again, softly this time, saying goodbye. As soon as there was space between them, she sent a dose of the Mnemosine recall-wipe vapour in his direction. She hated goodbyes, as much as he did. This time was not the first, nor the last, that she had used the vapour on him. But it was the hardest. She wanted to stay, wanted to keep him on his toes for a while, keep him company, because he needed it now more than ever. It would kill her, when she eventually had to leave, and he would still have to forget it all. But she would know, that he had smiled, that she had helped him.

 

The Doctor slumped back against the seat, unconscious. River watched him for a moment, before she moved to adjust him, so he wouldn’t fall from the seat and so he’d think that he had just fallen asleep. She pressed a kiss to his brow and whispered “You are not alone.. Find Rose” There was a smudge of lipstick on his brow and on his lips, River left it. To let him think that he had had a big night out and had gotten so drunk that he couldn’t remember. That was as good an excuse as any.

 

River had no interest in being at London now, not while he was there too. With her vortex manipulator now working, it was easier to just press a few buttons and be somewhere else. The Doctor was in the right place and that was all that mattered. Opening her vortex manipulator, all it took was a few seconds and she was on her own, running towards a new adventure. With the lingering memory of his kiss on her lips.

 


End file.
